Hello, I Am a Teacher in a Movie

Ever waste two hours of your life watching a sappy teacher movie that is overly dramatic, unrealistic and, frankly, insulting to real life teachers? Well, apparently so have lots of teachers on Twitter! Here, a roundup of some of our favorite responses to the trending “Hello, I am a teacher in a movie…”

Unbelievably inspiring!

Hello, I’m a teacher in a movie. By the end of the year I have inspired every single one of my students to achieve what nobody thought was possible. The administrators who kept putting up roadblocks were exposed as the frauds they are. —DK‏ @Deadfeat

Hi, I’m a high school teacher in a movie, and I can single-handedly solve all the complex socio-economic issues in my students’ lives by just Believing in Them. Also, I don’t mind being paid poorly because Teaching Is My Calling. —Carol‏ @ButDiscourse

I’m a teacher in a movie. My students ignore me, insult me, and the tough kid even threatens physical violence. But by the end of the year they’ve come to value what I have to offer, and we’ve all learned important lessons about respect. —Lawrence Wilson‏ @wilsonlawrence7

Or not. 

Hello, I’m a teacher in a movie. I have two roles: I’m perfect and always say the right thing, always listen, am always at school OR I’m horrible and cranky, don’t care about kids, talk loudly about hating my job.—Sara Ketelsen‏ @MrsMathematics

Hello, I’m a teacher in a movie. I’m bitter and twisted and trying to crush my students’ dreams and self esteem with my cynical views.—adam salt‏ @saltadam1

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Hello, I am a substitute teacher in a movie. If I am certified to do this job and have appropriate education and training, the classroom is in complete chaos. If I am not certified, I am better at teaching than any other teacher in the school, possibly the world. —amela Love‏ @PegasusAuthor

Man, this teaching gig is a piece of cake. 

I am the other teacher in a movie. I’m the Resource Teacher. I never write lesson plans. My days always end at 3. I never write reports, do assessments & my personal life is always a priority & IEPs don’t exist in movie…and neither do RSP teachers. —Meredith Lee‏ @meralee

Hi, I’m a teacher in a movie. I use a blackboard, never PowerPoint, and begin by writing a single word on the board and underlining it with a flourish. I teach English by reading to the students and asking questions for 5 minutes, and then complain their essays were terrible. —Vicki Spreadbury‏ @vickispreadbury

Hello, I’m a teacher in a movie. I ask the kids to settle down and they do, first time, and sit forward waiting for me to speak. I also say something profound which moves the students to tears and applause every lesson, six times a day.—Jules‏ @JulesDaulby

I mean seriously, what’s all the fuss about?

I’m an English teacher in a movie. Mainly, I just get pupils to read around the class. I stop to fire a question at a pupil who isn’t paying attention: my voice fades in on their daydream. The class titters when they give a comically wrong answer. —James Durran‏ @jdurran

I’m a PE teacher in a movie, I tell kids to run the mile & I wear a whistle. Sometimes I sit in the bleachers & play on my phone while students run. —Marcia Carrillo‏ @MarciaMentor

Hi, I’m an English teacher in a movie. All of my lectures exist solely to tell the audience what the movie they’re watching is about. —🦀 ocean master banks  🐠‏ @mrbanksalt

As a teacher in a movie, I stop at a busy coffee shop on my way to school and saunter into the building well after sunrise, cheerfully greeting every student in the hall by name and noting some personal detail about each of them. —Linda Mack Berlin‏ @TeachAPE

Teaching is for the beautiful people.

I’m a suburban teacher in a movie. I’m super cool without trying & ridiculously attractive. My classes never have more than 15 students.—Phil Schneider‏ @phillip320 

Hi! I’m an elementary school teacher in a movie wearing a skirt and a smile. I have 12 happy kids in my class painting pictures as the sun shines through our ample windows.—Angela Neumann‏ @neumanna70

Hello, I’m a creative writing teacher in a movie. I’m a gorgeous, 30-something white man wearing horn-rimmed glasses and a sweater vest, and I teach in a huge classroom with bay windows overlooking a beautiful lawn in the fall. —Jess Row‏ @row_ie_argument 

No bad days. 

Hello, I’m a teacher in a movie. I have a life outside of work and always look well rested. —Lorna‏ @mcfindoone

Hello, I’m a teacher in a movie. My entire class is well-behaved, well-dressed, more than normally attractive, and paying attention. I am a hopeless dinosaur who doesn’t understand tech and dresses like it’s 1979. —Mimi Wells‏ @mimi_wells

Hello I’m a high school teacher in a movie. I never hand out tardy slips to students out in the hall when the late bell rings or worry about dress code violations. I never, ever say, “The bell does not dismiss you. *I* dismiss you.” —sally kilpatrick‏ @SuperWriterMom

And this is why we need more funding for the Arts. 

Hello, I’m a music teacher in a movie.  I get the job without an interview. After a week the students can play their instruments AND read the music. We are invited to a big music festival and win lots of $$$ to save our school in spite of antagonist principal. —Mélanie E.‏ @melanieeband

I’m a drama teacher in a movie. I sit in the dark in the auditorium and shout things at the stage. In this way, I direct a rousing end of year performance which changes students lives/relationships/self-knowledge. —Martha Close‏ @marthakclose

I’m the art teacher who never actualized my creative goals. My wardrobe is generic/multicultural. I lead the protests: demand fruit cocktail in the cafeteria be replaced with sprouts. The movie ends with a showcase of my students’ exceptional successes and I cry quiet tears. —moesie‏ @badgirlpearls

Hi I’m a music teacher in a movie. I spend my whole career working on an opus that is five minutes long and thoroughly mediocre. —Trevor Walker‏ @twalker201

But really, poetry can save the world. 

Hi, I’m a high school English teacher in a movie. I only have one class of 15 students, most of whom think my class is boring or a waste of time. I believe the only important thing to teach them is poetry. They will do things they never imagined possible because of these poems. —Jonathan Byrne‏ @jbteacherman

Hello, I’m a high school English teacher in a movie. I just got a job at a rough school in a bad area of town. My students don’t appreciate poetry … yet. But don’t worry, I’ll play them some 2Pac to show I’m relatable which will pave the way to lifelong poetic appreciation. —Jessica Wilkins‏ @jecwilk

Can you say “boundaries”?

Hello, I’m a high school teacher in a movie. I have 12 students in each class who are all bright and full of potential, but also deeply troubled. Classes last about seven minutes during which time I don’t teach them anything but I do manage to get involved in their personal lives. —🇬🇧Rachel21Mac 🇬🇧‏ @rachel21mac 

Hello. I’m a teacher in a movie. I teach one class of about 20 teens, and only have to grade papers once a year, in a musical montage. I get deeply involved in my students’ personal lives and fix their problems by summer vacation. We never learn boring things like MLA format. —Contented Reader‏ @contentedreader

Hello, I’m a school teacher in a movie. I’m WAY over-invested in the life of just one of my pupils, to the point where I abandon professionalism, ignore standard safeguarding practices and may turn up at their house unannounced to argue with their parents. —MickeyDee #FBPE‏ @MickeyDee

What is it with the homework thing?

Hello, I’m a professor in a movie, I only reach the main point of my lecture right as class is ending. Then I yell at students about the reading / homework as they leave. —Rory Turnbull‏ @_roryturnbull

Hi, I’m a secondary school teacher in a movie. I only teach one class, of “difficult” students. They sit in perfect silence as I talk, apart from the odd muttered comment. I only ever give out homework as the bell is ringing. I like to visit them at home and solve their problems. —FMcGrogan‏ @FMcgrogan

Hello, I’m a teacher in a movie.  I always call on the kid not paying attention for plot-related reasons and manage to let the students know what their homework is after half the class has already left. EVERY. DAMN. TIME. —Ben Borhart‏ @sillyvariance

Would you say your teaching methods are, umm, appropriate?

Hello, I am a high school chemistry teacher in a movie. I appear for 30 seconds to prove that these kids are indeed in high school and am teaching stoichiometry a month before school gets out for the summer. We are hilariously behind on material. —(Ni)(K)(K)(I)‏ @nikkijbakas

Hey, I’m a high school art teacher in a movie. My theory lessons are well above high school levels and deal directly with the main character’s current issue. Also everyone is working in completely different media, on different briefs, and none of my pupils are mediocre. —sibu‏ @Dukiswa

Not that race is an issue in education. 

Hello, I’m a white lady teacher in a movie. I am either clueless and irrelevant and put my face in my hands a lot or I am a savior of black and brown children because I, alone, can give them voice. —Shannon Carey‏ @scmaestra

Hi I’m a white English teacher in a movie. I wear a leather jacket and I work in “the hood,” where my students are all POC. I motivate them with candy bars, surprise visits to their homes, and peak white saviourism. —חנה שושנה 🥯‏ @hannashoshana

Hello, I’m a Black lady teacher or administrator in a movie that doesn’t exist because those movies aren’t made about us. —Kelly Wickham Hurst‏@mochamomma

Because sacrifice is what it’s all about, right?

Hello, I’m a teacher in a movie. I sacrifice my life and my family for that one kid, do not get fired for ignoring curriculum and manage to treat every student in my 32 student group individually. I can somehow afford a house or a New York apartment. I can afford my own supplies. —🏴‍☠️ Scurvy Dan  🏴‍☠️‏ @thegatethekey

Hello, I’m a teacher in a movie. I break laws and ignore everything currently known about pedagogy, but I get amazing results because real teachers can’t do magic like me! —Desiree Hernandez‏ @DesireeResists

Hi, I’m an elementary school teacher in a movie. I am a woman. I look exhausted but saintly, and it’s clear I’d never think of something so banal as teachers getting fair pay. —Pamela Rafalow Grossman‏ @brooklynpam

What’s you take on teacher movies? Come share on our WeAreTeachers HELPLINE! group on Facebook. 

And for a more realistic view of a teacher’s life, check out These Embarrassing Teacher Moments Have Happened to Us All