Stop saying “I am delighted”!

A few years ago I collected examples to demonstrate the ubiquity of this phrase in press releases, and stopped after 90 seconds.

“I am delighted that we have already received over 8,000 likes on Facebook.”

“I am delighted to work together with FC Barcelona to help Europeans keep away from smoking.”

“I am delighted to report further advances for our portfolio and for our shareholders.”

“I am delighted to welcome Wentworth Club to our growing family of customers.”

Worse is back-atcha delight.

“I am delighted,” says government minister Francis Maude on Bill Crothers becoming chief procurement officer

And how does Bill feel?

“I am delighted,” he says, in the very same release, “to be taking up the role of chief procurement officer.”

All this zombie-like repetition makes you wonder if there isn’t some kind of group mind control going on.

But it’s actually just normal people being handed a microphone by the PR person and told, say something, quick!

In that circumstance you say what everybody else says, because then you won’t look too weird or give away secrets or make anybody angry, which helps explain the aggressively viral nature of wooden platitudes and thought-terminating clichés. I’ve done it myself.

You can’t expect people to let it all hang out.

“I’m depressed,” says Bill on his new job. “It’s clearly a poisoned chalice.”

You don’t want that, but PRs, please, do some coaching.

You need that quote, so calm your quarry down and feed them questions. Whether it’s a new appointment, a merger or a contract award, your client will have done a lot of thinking about it: the good bits, the bad bits, what it’ll mean for them, for the organisation, for the sector. They’ll have plans and insights that will interest people. Stop them panicking and get them talking.

“I am delighted” needs to be ploughed back into the soil of language for a thousand years.